I decided not to give a title to my post today because I don’t know what title to give and I think its best to let the picture speak for itself. So after my last picture post done late last week, I went to the hospital today to see the doctor and got my results. I was pretty confident things were OK, I was nervous at one point when there was only 3 patients ahead of them (thanks to the SMS) and I said a lil quiet prayer. It was my turn, I walked into the room and the first few words the doctor said to me crushed me like a million pieces.
Long story short sans all the medical jargon, it doesn’t look like things are improving but flipping through my past results, it looks like a very small and slow gradual deterioration. It’s actually very tiring going through this whole process of drawing blood every 3 months, worry for 1 week and when the results is out, I stay strong for the entire day at the office and when i’m back at home, I bawl my eyes out. Funny thing is I usually feel better after that? And this is done every 3 months.
So what’s next? I don’t know. There are times where I really feel all this is not worth it and that I should give up … but I’m not a quitter. I feel it’s really unfair at times to have my parents (especially Pa) and my hubby worry about my condition but they have been extremely caring and supportive. So, if i have to fight this condition to my last breath then so be it. I’m sad that at my age, I have to deal with this but hey, life’s not all that peachy right? I will continue to pray and trust in Him completely and I thank those who have also prayed for me. I know there is healing in the making. Giving up now means I do not believe in His finished work.
I’m okay if anyone’s wondering, I’ll still lead a rather normal life for now. I’m just emotional today.